The point in this post... there is absolutely no shame in getting help.
See this article from BlackDoctor.Org about gospel artist, Michelle Williams, quest for help.
Even gospel artist and first lady, Erica Campbell, admits to attempting suicide as a child.
A great resource that has helped me tremendously is therapy via video chat, there's even one that you can try for free called Maven. Check them out. They cover all types of health and wellness care, specializing in care for women. Use my referral code UVNDZ.
Whatever you need, know that help is available... just speak up. It is really okay, to not be okay!